Romantic love changes with time, and with this experience, changes us.
The first blush of romantic love is about romance, discovery, excitement; everything is possible. It defines, creates and destroys. There is no middle ground. It is riding a rollercoaster, it is diving off the cliffs of La Quebrada; it is divine.
Through time, love is an instrument. There are goals that a couple has made together or separately, that through love become accomplished, diminished or slowly worn away. Raising a family, establishing a livelihood, running a household, and building a life together. Romance dulls, but certain surprises occur such as children, or accomplishment of other lifelong goals, that give unimaginable joy and unbelievable sorrows to either support your love or tear it apart, bit-by-bit.
After completing some of these tasks, comes the search for love to be rediscovered, renewed. There are different needs and new challenges. What was it that you once saw in each other, what goals do you now have in common, how have each of you changed, grown apart, or grown closer.
Rediscovering love takes great work. Sometimes you cannot find it any longer, it changes so. We become, doubtful, irritable, non-compromising. There are also moments in which you know what your lover is going to say by a look on their face. You can predict how some discussions and arguments will begin and end. You learn about caring and compassion. You chose to stay or leave and find that as each day has a sunrise and sunset, love is also cyclical.
Boleros, trovas de amor, are not about happiness. Boleros reflect love’s perplexities. Within a seemingly happy tune, the lyrics tell of sorrow, loss and betrayal, as well as compassion, and love’s endurance.
Ya no estas mas a mi lado Corazon
En el alma solo tengo soledad
Y si yo no puedo verte porque Dios me hizo quererte para hacer me sufrir mas
Already, you are no longer at my side, my heart
in my soul I only have solitude
and if I cannot see you it is because God made me love you
to make me suffer
(Historia de Amor)
